Question 3: Model Answer (Edexcel GCSE English Language)

The writer uses language and structure to convey to his wife his efforts to return Elsa successfully to the wild. [Marking comment]

It is clear that this is a personal account from the beginning, the use of the pronoun “I” and colloquialisms such as “get off” and “great fuss” suggesting a level of familiarity between the writer and the intended reader (his wife). [Marking comment] The context of the writer’s wife also having been involved in Elsa’s care is also conveyed by his use of direct address to her, telling her that Elsa was “much puzzled that you were not there”. Furthermore, the fact that a lion might be considered “puzzled” highlights the strength of connection between the writer, his wife and the animal they raised. [Marking comment]

The writer’s affection for Elsa is clear, as he frequently describes what she is thinking and feeling, and anthropomorphises her to show her human-like behaviour. [Marking comment] He describes her as “solemnly” walking to the tent and that “she knew at once that I was going to leave her” so she adopted an “aloof manner”. [Marking comment] He also describes the fact that she gave him a “tremendous welcome” and that she “behaved very well”, giving her a child-like quality. The writer includes a humorous anecdote in the second letter that he knows his wife would like and find interesting, telling her that Elsa was “full of beans” and that she “twice knocked” him over, “once into a thornbush!” [Marking comment] The implication that the writer thought of Elsa almost like his child continues with the revelation that they share a tent at night, with Elsa waking him up several times by “rubbing noses” and “sitting on me”. This contrasts with the descriptions of Elsa’s primal nature, in that she was “quite fierce”, “ambushed the elephant” and “must have killed at least once”. These contrasts possibly reflect the struggle the writer feels between the affection he has for the animal and the knowledge that she should be in the wild; this inner conflict is therefore conveyed to the reader in the knowledge that she would share this sense of ambivalence. [Marking comment]

The extract is structured into multiple diary entries, demonstrating the importance of dates and the timeline in terms of Elsa’s return to the wild and her progress in detaching from the bond she has with the writer. [Marking comment] The text moves from Elsa being dependent at the start, as shown by the descriptions of her being “thin and hungry” and she “absolutely refused to leave the camp” to her becoming more independent by the end, as she was “looking very fit” with “plenty of flesh on her bones”.

In addition, the writer uses short, repetitive statements of fact to record the information he feels his wife will want to know. He also frequently starts sentences with “she”, referring to Elsa and implying a deep connection between the reader and the lion. Some of the sentences used by the writer are incomplete, as though he is making notes on a science project, such as “still no signs” and “went as far as the large water pool”. The repetition of “still no” suggests the writer is pessimistic about Elsa’s return to the wild, but this tone changes towards the end of the text with more exclamatory sentences such as “she behaved very well!” suggesting a more positive outlook.[Marking comment] The final description tentatively suggests the lion’s increasing sense of self, as the writer says “I think she is becoming more independent” and “does not mind being left alone”, leaving the reader with a sense of hope that her reintegration into the wild might be successful.[Marking comment]

Overall, the writer uses language and structure to interest and engage a reader who is as familiar with the subject of the letters as he is.

• The response contains sustained analysis of the text

• It also includes analysis of how both language and structure are used to achieve effects and influence readers, including use of vocabulary, sentence structure and other language features

• The selection of references are precise and support each point being made