Question 4: Model Answer (Edexcel GCSE English Language)

In this extract, the writer is very successful in creating sympathy for the man and the little girl by gradually revealing that both are likely going to die. [Marking comment] 

From the start of the extract, Conan Doyle effectively [Marking comment] creates a pitiful image of a once-strong man who is now just skin and bones. The simile of his “parchment-like skin” being “drawn tightly over projecting bones” immediately conveys the extent of his malnourishment. This is further emphasised by the comparison of his hand to a skeleton, indicating that this man’s condition is so serious that he might be close to death. The writer continues to skilfully create sympathy by juxtaposing the man’s poor physical condition with the implication of his inner strength, through the “unnatural lustre” in his sunken eyes and the suggestion of a “wiry and vigorous constitution”. [Marking comment] This contrasts with his “gaunt face”, “shrivelled limbs” and “senile and decrepit appearance” to highlight the toll the barren landscape and a lack of food and water have taken on someone once so strong and alive.

The writer continues to create feelings of sympathy for the man successfully by hinting at how bleak his situation is. [Marking comment] The blunt assertion that the man is “dying — dying from hunger and thirst” makes the reader realise the grim reality the man is facing. [Marking comment] The shocking revelation of the little girl in the bundle further highlights the bleakness of the situation; he is not only struggling himself, but he is also responsible for a young, innocent girl who appears not to realise the reality of her situation. Her “moaning cry” and “dimpled fists” reveal her childish anger at being dropped, and the writer’s use of sibilance in her “small, scared face” and emphasis on her size immediately makes her a figure of sympathy for the reader as she seems so out of place in this harsh environment. [Marking comment]

In addition, the writer goes on to skilfully create sympathy for the child as her pretty appearance, with her “dainty shoes” and “smart pink frock” suggests a “mother’s care”, which is in marked contrast to the man’s appearance, suggesting that he has taken care of her despite his dire situation. [Marking comment] The writer hints that he has sacrificed his food and water to the little girl as her “healthy arms and legs” suggest that “she had suffered less than her companion”. The touching scene in which she demands that he “kiss it and make it well” emphasises her innocence and increases the reader’s sympathy for both of them, which is powerfully further enhanced through the child’s inability to comprehend that her mother has died. [Marking comment] The reader understands that the man believes they are also both going to die, but he protects the child from this reality through his use of his euphemism “I guess you’ll see her before long”.

The final paragraph, with its reference to heaven and the rapid arrival of the buzzards, described as “the forerunner of death”, evokes a final, strong sense of sympathy for both characters and their heartbreaking reality. [Marking comment] Overall, the writer begins the extract by creating sympathy for a man who is clearly in a very difficult situation. This sense of sympathy only deepens as the extract continues with the introduction of the innocence of the little girl and the interplay between her and the man, and their impending doom. 

• The response effectively evaluates ideas, events, themes or settings

• The evaluation is sustained over the whole of the extract

• The response provides a critical overview and judgement about the text

• Each quote or textual reference is relevant and clarifies the points being made