Gender & Communicatioon (DP IB Psychology)

Gender differences in communication

• Gender differences in communication - whether they exist or not - has been a widely-discussed topic for centuries:

  • ‘Women speak two languages, one of which is verbal’ (Shakespeare)

  • ‘If you talk about yourself, he’ll think you’re boring; if you talk about others, he’ll think you’re a gossip; f you talk about him he’ll think you’re a brilliant conversationalist’ (Linda Sunshine - yes that is her name - author and gender politics commentator)

  • ‘There are only three things women want in life: food, water and compliments (Chris Rock)

• The above quotes demonstrate the misunderstandings that may crop up between men and women:

  • They suggest that men and women have different priorities when it comes to the maintenance of relationships

  • They suggest that men and women may have different needs than their partner.

• The idea that “Men are from Mars and women are from Venus” suggests that:

  • Men are assertive, competitive and aggressive

  • Women are nurturing, passive and geared towards love

• To a 21st century thinker all of the above ideas may seem reductive, limited and unhelpful yet it is problems with communication that beset many couples and which - if left unresolved - can lead to the termination of the relationship

  • According to one study, 67.5% of divorces were due to communication problems

• Deborah Tannen (see her key study on the next page) is a researcher whose field is communication in relationships:

  • She investigates the ways in which men and women communicate with each other, focusing on key differences between male and female communication styles

One of her books is titled ‘You Just Don’t Understand!’ (1990), focusing on the obstacles that men and women face when attempting to successfully communicate with each other

Gender similarities in communication

• Contrary to the idea that men and women use radically different communication styles, some schools of thought propose that there are very few differences between males and females when it comes to communication

• In her book, ‘The Myth of Mars and Venus’, Deborah Cameron (see her key study on the next page) puts forward a direct challenge to Tannen’s theory that men and women have radically different ways of communicating:

  • In her words: “The idea that men and women speak different languages is treated not as a hypothesis but as an unquestionable article of faith” (p.17)

• Cameron’s research focuses on gender and language and are affected by societal expectations and norms rather than on innate traits

• Cameron coined the term ‘verbal hygiene’ which refers to the ways in which people regulate their communication to align with social norms

Research which investigates gender & communication

• Tannen (1990): men and women use different communication styles

• Cameron (2007): gender differences in communication have been exaggerated

Tannen (1990) and Cameron (2007) are available as ‘Two Key Studies of Gender & Communication’ – just navigate the Role of Communication section to find them.