Formation of Personal Relationships: Cognitive Theories of Attraction (DP IB Psychology)

The matching hypothesis

• The matching hypothesis (Walster, 1966) is based on the assumption that people tend to pair up with partners who are of roughly the same level of attractiveness as they themselves are

• The matching hypothesis is a cognitive mechanism that uses self-rating and rating of others based solely on physical appearance, for example:

  • ‘I think I’m a 7 so I’m looking for another 7, ideally an 8; but I may have to settle for a 6’

  • ‘Goodness me, what on earth is she doing with him? She’s clearly a 10 and he’s definitely not more than a 4!’

• The matching hypothesis revolves around ideas as to self-worth and self-esteem:

  • if your partner is deemed to be ‘nothing much to look at’ then this will affect your social status

  • if your partner is a ‘looker’ then your social status will rise

  • either of the above outcomes will have an effect on how you view yourself (as worthy/unworthy)

• There is a fine balancing act involved in the matching hypothesis:

  • someone must weigh up their chances of aiming for someone who is ‘out of their league’

  • aiming high means that they risk rejection

  • someone may, instead, decide to take the ‘any port in a storm’ option and simply ‘settle’ for a partner who is less attractive than them

• Not many people are willing to risk rejection by pursuing someone who ranks higher than they themselves do in terms of physical attractiveness

• Someone’s self-esteem is likely to suffer if their requests are continually turned down by those with whom they seek a romantic relationship

• In the long run, it is wiser to aim for romantic targets that are attainable

Evaluation of the matching hypothesis

Strengths

• The plethora of equality-attractive couples (just see examples of Hollywood stars or ‘Love Island’ celebrities) does lend some anecdotal evidence-based validity to the theory

• The theory highlights the ways in which cognitions may determine partner preference:

  • this is aligns with humans’ ability to engage in higher-level thinking

  • the biological approach suggests that attraction operates at an evolutionary or a neurochemical level, rather than as a product of conscious decision-making 

Limitations

• Notions of ‘what is attractive?’ are highly subjective and prone to individual differences which means that the theory lacks scientific validity

• The theory is highly simplistic and reductionist as it attempts to quantify the complex nature of human attraction to a basic balancing act e.g. ‘I am a 5 so I seek a 5’

The similarity-attraction hypothesis

• The similarity-attraction hypothesis is based on the idea that people are attracted to those who share their own:

  • likes/dislikes

  • Interests

  • opinions

  • attitudes 

• In essence, someone is likely to be attracted to or to form close friendships with people who are very similar to themselves

• This similarity to the other person may be real or perceived:

  • People may choose to believe that their close friends or romantic partners are more similar to themselves than they actually are

  • Believing that those closest to you are similar to you is a way of preserving self-esteem and the feeling that you are part of a larger group who share commonalities

• Cognitive consistency may explain the similarity-attraction hypothesis:

  • If you like something but someone else does not share your feelings then this creates a cognitively imbalanced state, which makes you uncomfortable

  • One way of dealing this imbalance is to decide that you do not like the person who does not share your feelings which restores cognitive consistency

Evaluation of the similarity-attraction hypothesis

Strengths

• The theory is easy to understand and can be applied to personal experience (the theory can be demonstrated by just considering one’s own friendship groups)

• There is some cross-cultural evidence that supports the idea that similarity is a consistent predictor of relationships:

  • Brewer (1961) found that  perceived similarity was a strong factor in determining liking between tribespeople in East Africa 

Limitations

• The theory does not explain why people are attracted to or form friendships with those who are very different from themselves, thus it lacks generalisability

• Abbasi et al. (2024) conducted a systematic review of the similarity-attraction hypothesis and concluded that:

  • due to the lack of longitudinal research in this field there is no real way of predicting the longevity of relationships based on similarity 

  • other factors may override the effect of similarity on the formation of relationships i.e. the theory is not robust

Which studies investigate a biological explanation of MDD?

• Taylor et al. (2011): investigated the matching hypothesis by examining real online dating behaviour

• Markey & Markey (2007): investigated the similarity-attraction hypothesis with a sample of US university students

Taylor et al. (2011) and Markey & Markey (2007) are available as Two Key Studies of Cognitive Theories of Attraction – just navigate the Formation of Personal Relationships section to find them.